First of all- a great big welcome to Fall, god where has the summer/ year gone? Hard to believe we’re already seeing signs of Christmas and we’re still in September. As you know a lot of the last bit of the year was a bit of reflection for me, I’m writing this book and fulfilling this dream, rounding off my undergraduate career in about four months time with any luck and just got married and am looking to see if the future is as cut and dry as I thought it was going to be. Well its not, and while at one point that would have made me simply shake in my boots so to speak now it doesn’t so much- the book won’t probably bring me fame and fortune its rare for an author to have that – and I will probably still maintain my plan of being a college professor 9-5 job but I’ve planned all that as much as I can. Quite a few mistakes made me over-analyze every decision I’ve made for a while, made me unsure but I will say in the past week I’ve felt literally on top of the world, a feeling I haven’t had for a long, long time. Now I’m not talking depression, let me make that clear, just your run of the mill dealing with all this crap- like the car catching fire a few weeks ago, or insert any stupid problem here wearing you the hell down and having the past revisit more often than you want in the midst of all of this. But this past week something clicked, that made all that doubt go away, make me feel confident once more and more sure of the road ahead. I felt more like that girl at age 19 who did the stupid mistake of trading her working car for a piece of garbage stick shift that she couldn’t even drive properly too much cause she had only automatics up until that point, but didn’t look back because she wanted the gas mileage to see her boyfriend (now husband) and was stressed at the time, only knowing partly that it was indeed a piece of shit that needed a lot more work than she could have given it at the time. That’s right I did that and I didn’t look back, not my proudest moment no, but I realized that’s partly what I lost over time that just jump in feet first and Fuck the consequences- which in turn causes the over-analyzing I mentioned. Yeah there are practical reasons for this, money *cough* not throwing away a 2300 dollar car *cough* mainly and general sanity, but seriously it does feel awesome to just screw sanity and not worry so much about those barriers.
Yes I realize I’m rambling but its renewed me for Vengeance- which with some amount of luck will be completely ready to be typed fully after spending a couple days in my bedroom to get private work time in since I had a lesser workload this week private meaning the hubby got munchkin for the most part for me (Thanks love!) as I went through the outline – changing things as I went if needed and starting on the remaining bit. (BTW last week of school and then a week break woot!) Hopefully in the next few weeks, and yes I know I’ve said this forever shush, all will be done the last words are typed and the editing will begin in full earnest, though I’ve been doing a bit now, mainly name matching, voice fixing as I’ve mentioned and also a few surprises which I’m waiting for my readers to get to and let me know their thoughts. Then hopefully during Nanowrimo (yeah I know its not fully right) month I might use it to at least get a start/ complete book 2 we’ll see how it goes. Go full circle hopefully then in Nov/Dec probably more Dec. to complete editing/ and formatting as needed and this is just a hope on final release date since not sure if the other stuff will take longer and into Jan since the holidays will be upon us get Vengeance out completely. But that’s the game plan book wise over the next few weeks, we’ll see how it goes.
Thanks for sticking around and continuing on this journey with me,