So I originally planned on doing something entirely for this blog post and that will still happen but I want to take out a second for something that has really been annoying me lately. (By the way posts of this sort will be few and far between since while I’m interested in these topics I know I’m in the minority) Sometimes I forget the most important thing of reading articles on line of any type, don’t read the comments- now usually the articles I frequent are political in nature (hazard of being an IR major) or somewhat controversial though its still applied on any article. The thing I get when I read these comments is how generally uninformed people are, it is FINE and encouraged to have a passionate opinion about a topic or something. It is NOT fine to have this opinion be formed on some biased story or some just general assholeness, yes it’s not a word deal with it folks. And this applies too on social media in general, election season on my personal Facebook drove me up the WALL with this type of thing. Whatever happened to if you can’t say anything nice don’t say it, or general compassion? We seem to forget there are actual people behind these screens. I’m a firm believer of looking at the good in people because if you honestly don’t you’ll go crazy because of all the negative, but dear lord when politics or anything of that nature comes up it goes out the window and makes you wonder what the heck these people are thinking or doing in the world. These are also among the worst for my pet peeves of being rude, insulting and just generally informed using the most known to be biased sources to back up their views. Is it really that hard to even go to a .gov website people and pull this information from actual texts that support your claims to be taken seriously? Its a lot less than what I have to do for my papers let me tell you and you’re already on the internet if its that important you have to dive your point home that badly. I understand not everyone will be able to do this always, but if you’re on the internet where there is essentially limitless information at your fingertips and you’re using proof for your point anyway take the extra time. Also another fun one, especially in election season, are the experts in everything- sorry people the world is a lot more complicated than its the Republican’s fault, Democrats or President Obama- which I won’t even touch right now cause its a whole other monster.
Okay now back to the regularly scheduled post now that I have it out of my system another thing that has been hindering writing lately- failure. This my husband pointed out the other night after a mental breakdown on my part over a part of the story and how much is left to do and falling to me (keeping the blog up to date, admining the facebook page, editing, finishing it all up, cover art aka self-publishing problems) is a lot of my issue with the other things being secondary and making a mountain out of a molehill so to speak, I’m afraid of this thing I’ve rewritten so much, worked so hard on falling flat on its ass. And its completely true, I am afraid and while yes – I’ve heard it just overcome, you got this, we’re behind you etc. fuck does it get hard to stop that voice again once it echoes as you push on through the story. And sadly it’s one of those things that won’t just quiet cause you need a break and take it, it comes back time and time again at some point. So how do you deal when this stuff just stops you dead in your tracks? I sat long and hard that night thinking it over, and realized how he was absolutely right, as harsh as it seemed at the time, which later I told him was one of the few times I will ever admit he was right on something, I was afraid to fail and still am. I don’t see Vengeance making a New York Times best seller, and while I still pour everything I have into it, its a self published novel, its chances aren’t good though I try to make them the best I can and make it the best I can, and come whatever result awaits me there will be a second book- the ideas have already started turning.
So after that was resolved I went to put munchkin to bed, grabbing my tablet to read him Vengeance, he sat down next to me with a book of his own as I read through the prologue “reading” it so to speak on his own. It was then that I got back my purpose, realizing even if it fails I will have shown him that dreams – no matter how crazy they seem to the rest of the world- are possible and HE at least enjoys the story, which is all that matters. We’ve read some more the past few bedtimes and are well into chapter 3 now, the other night I had to break up the dogs arguing over a bone in the living room and he followed me out after it was done I told him get back in bed so we could continue reading, he rushed ahead of me and hopped back into this bed waiting for the next part. Nothing also makes you prouder since he’s still mastering the whole talking stages and he starts saying things he heard you read from YOUR book.
So if failure cripples you, take a step back and just evaluate again, yeah chances are I will have to do it again at some point, but even if you don’t have a munchkin to read to, it definitely helps.
*Due to the nature of the first part of this post, moderation will be enforced in the comments, nothing inflammatory and keep it civil.
Until Next Time,